This is an incident I’ll never forget
It was last year about this same time…late July / early August…I was on a plane headed from Las Vegas to Burbank and something happened I will never forget.
I sat down in my seat prior to the plane taking off…and as the seats were filling up around me, I noticed a young man in his 30’s or so acting kind of fidgety across the aisle from me.
He seemed tense. You could feel his energy.
At first I was slightly concerned because I could tell something was off…but then he did something I will never forget.
We were still at the gate and we hadn’t started moving for takeoff yet.
He stands up near his seat and he turns to the person behind him and he says…
“I have a severe fear of flying and I’ve never been on a plane by myself before. I’m looking to build a community of support around me for this flight. Will you be a part of my community?”
I was stunned. In the best way.
I felt bad that he was so nervous about the flight. But, the vulnerability, the amazing communication, the sincerity…touching doesn’t even begin to describe this scene.
He continued to ask all the people around him the same question…including myself.
And, yes, we all eagerly agreed to be in his community.
He went on to explain that he flew to Las Vegas with his Therapist and that she was unable to fly home with him. He was completely terrified to fly. But his therapist encouraged him to get support from those around him.
He also explained to us how we could support him…that it helped him a lot if someone could talk to him. The talking was a welcome distraction from the anxiety of the flight itself.
And, all the people around him did just that. His seatmates engaged him in conversation the entire time.
I could FEEL the support around this young man. It was not like anything I’d ever experienced before and it was PALPABLE.
When we landed, our whole section cheered and clapped! And, before he got off the plane, he thanked each one of us and he said that we’ll never really know the impact we had on his life that day.
Incredible.
I have thought about that incident on the plane. A LOT.
So many times, we desire support from those around us and we don’t get it. But, often it’s because WE DON’T ASK FOR IT.
I have become much more communicative with those close to me about when I need support from them. Because, we all need support from time to time.
And the truth is, when someone asks for help, if you care about them you want to help them! Heck…even when a stranger asks, it’s human nature to want to help. I’ve experienced this first hand.
But as women who are used to doing so many things for so many….I think we don’t ask for support when we need it ourselves.
And, this is especially true when it comes to transformation. When we go through transformation and we break down our old habits (and lives!) to create new ones, it’s hard! We need the support from those around us.
But the first step is asking for it.
So, if you are just starting on the path or you’re already on it, I encourage you to ask for what you need. Give those around you a chance to lift you up and be the force that pushes you forward when you need that extra encouragement.
Our communities, in midlife especially, are invaluable. But we have to build them, one critical member at a time.
And as for this midlife sisterhood we have…you are a valuable member of my community. Thank you for being here.
In Your Corner…Denise